Note to readers: This is a birth story.

Here we are, two weeks later. Our family has grown by one beautiful soul and our hearts are infinitely larger. I think Steve’s face says it best in the photo above (taken by my doula). This is minutes after Audrey joined the world. She was 10 days “overdue” and born almost exactly 24 hours after my water broke at 4AM Monday morning. We thought it was a false alarm and that we’d be sent back home when we arrived at the hospital a few hours later. Good thing we packed our bags.

Long story short, I wasn’t having contractions, so my midwife started me on Pitocin around 11AM. I was nervous about induction, worried that it would squash my goal of natural birth, but I quickly readjusted to the new plan and let go of what I had envisioned. A friend of mine had been induced with Pitocin and managed her labor without pain medication, so I channeled her success. Was I bummed out about being hooked up to an IV and monitors for the entire labor? YES. It was a nuisance. But wallowing wasn’t going to help. I just had to let go of my “plans” to move freely around the room and use the shower and/or tub to cope with the pain. Frankly, the IV was one of the worst parts of labor for me. It probably took my mind off some of the contractions! I was such a baby about the needle that Steve wondered how I would be able to get through labor without pain medication if I couldn’t handle an IV (he told me this much later). Luckily, I cope with pain a lot better than needles.

The midwife or nurse came in to check on us periodically throughout the day. They started me on the lowest possible dosage of Pitocin and slowly increased it. Luckily, I responded well to Pitocin and my labor progressed steadily. Except for these short visits, Steve and I were left alone. It was peaceful, dimly lit and private in the room, which was exactly what I wanted. As a distraction, we watched TV during the day and when the time felt right that evening, we switched to the music mix that Steve had packed with our favorite songs. At 11PM, my midwife, doula, and nurse joined us. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that I was 8 cm dilated. Between contractions we talked, laughed, and got to know each other. Everyone was pretty relaxed and the midwife and nurse kept saying that they wished more births could be like ours. I feel blessed to have been surrounded with a group of down to earth, positive people who supported us 100%. Verbal encouragement means so much during labor!

Around 2AM, I started pushing. The contractions had been completely manageable up to that point. The pushing is where I started to feel confused and up against the biggest challenge of my life. I just didn’t know if I was doing it “right” even though everyone was telling me that I was doing a great job. For some reason, I had thought that pushing would be the easier part. I thought that if I could just get through the contractions, I’d be home free during the pushing because I’d be on the home stretch. People had even told me that pushing “felt good”. Um, not for me it didn’t. The next two hours were a blur. I definitely had moments of wanting to give up, but that’s just not an option during labor. I had to summon every ounce of courage that I possessed to face each push. Finally, at 3:50AM, Ms. Audrey Leslie Bowen was born! The midwife placed her on my chest for a couple minutes before she was brought outside the room for a quick checkup. Soon, we were together again and we spent an hour together before she was taken to the nursery for a full exam while I got ready to move into our recovery room.

For the next 48 hours, I couldn’t think about the birth for very long. I was deliriously tired and pretty shaken by the whole experience. Not to mention, Steve and I were taking care of our baby girl for the first time. Today, I can look back with perspective and feel grateful that I was able to have a positive labor and delivery experience despite the bumps in the road. I contribute a lot of this to my willingness to surrender and stay positive, my spectacular support team (Steve, doula, midwife, and nurse), staying healthy and strong during pregnancy, lots of education, and pure luck. The staff at University of Maryland was amazing. We were deeply impressed by the care and support we received during our stay.

Over the past two weeks I’ve had to be kinder to myself than ever before. I’ve had to cheer myself on and tell myself that I’ll make it through the healing, fatigue, and challenges of being a first-time mom. Being nice to yourself goes a long way. Having a supportive, super dad for a husband helps too. Today, I am practically back to my old self (mentally and physically), except, now I have a tiny baby to love and care for.

She’s already turning out to be one of my greatest teachers.

Tagged as: baby, birth, family, labor, motherhood, natural childbirth, parenting

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